Anger

Anger. Makes me want to hit things and sometimes hit people. People can be the most frustrating things. Because sometimes it's not the people that's the problem but the system and numbers. I found out today that my drama class has most likely been canceled for next year and my only option is to take History. I feel like my creative process has come to a screeching halt. It's not, but it feels like it has. I really had to remember how to control my anger today. Because really, it was no one's fault. So I did my breathing exercises and thought about other things because there was nothing in my power that I could do about it so why be angry?
In the same class today I made amends with someone. And we were talking about our creative culminatings. Funny enough they were almost identical but not quite. So we laughed and discussed and shared our thoughts and my emotions about the disruption in my life slowly were put on the back burner.
Over the course of the year I have discovered little things that allow me to be in control of my emotions, which sometimes mean letting them out.
And it struck me today when in Drama someone told me "you look upset all the time and I feel bad but I don't know what to say." I think I need to work a bit more on my emotions. Because I seem to be letting them all out it that class.

February 10th 2012

If find that in drama class my awareness of my space is higher than it is in other classes. Last class I realised how influential the dynamics of a circle is on a class environment. It feels like a very open environment and that everyone is equal, including the teacher. It feels safe and welcoming as well as a great place to share ideas. I think one of the many reasons I love coming to drama class is that we get to be in a large group and while we are talking as a group we are also learning. If I was to plan a group activity I would definitely use a circle because how well it works.
I don't really know where the rest of this post is going. I thought it would be cool. I don't how I feel about it yet. We have drama today 3rd period and I am excited because drama is the best on friday's. Maybe I'll have a spark of inspiration today to post this afternoon.

January 27th, 2012

This was a creative assignment but I decide it could also be a journal. Because.

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“The creative process is a process of surrender, not control.” This quote by author Julia Cameron illustrates exactly what I have learned in the creative process in this assignment.  As this was a group assignment the creative process was much different then that of an individual creative process. At times we had to “kill our babies” because even though individually we might of thought it was a good idea, it wouldn’t work in terms of a whole group. The final piece that we shared was not at all what I thought it would be and that’s what I think is so amazing about the creative process; it allows change and movement and growth. Ideas were bounced off each other in order to “perfect” the idea. I put perfect in quotation marks because the beauty of the creative process is that it isn’t perfect. I believe that my creative process works in a very chronological where there is a beginning middle and end but working in a group dynamic where the other kinds of the creative process were different I had to compromise and change my way of thinking slightly. One thing that worked was our collaboration, especially with Emily and I. We really worked well together because I believe that our idea of the creative process was the same. Another thing that worked was our group’s ability to work fluidly and efficiently without compromising the creative process. Something that didn’t really work was our group’s ability to change what we had done. I believe that our “scene” should have been improved upon but we were comfortable with what we had done and so that’s where our creativity kind of stopped. We weren’t able to take a risk because we were comfortable.

Looking back I now realize that one of the key components of the creative process is the ability to take risks and make changes and to trust yourself. I really enjoyed this group assignment because I love poetry and I loved that we used tableau with accents of the movement in between each tableau. It really let my mind run wild to try and put a poem into a dramatic work. There were so many possibilities to explore but with limited class time we had to narrow our creative process a little in order to come up with what we did.

In conclusion, I would say that this activity has taught me the importance of the creative process and how working in collaboration with a group can affect an individual’s creative process. If I had to do this assignment again I think I would have tried to bring out other’s ideas more instead of contributing as much because it is very interesting to see what other’s can bring to the table. 

January 27th, 2012

In the three circles of attention assignment I was fascinated when I found that to act out opening a door was actually very difficult. It made me wonder how people take advantage of things. Creatively, I have discovered that some of the best work can be the simplest because sometimes the simplest things, like opening a door, can be difficult. My brain had to go through a process of trying to remember what it was like to open the door when it was actually there. I had to go through the body movements to remember. What I found really interesting was that once I let go and tried to use my memory to open the door, it was a simple task.  

I have been doing written journals but I thought that I would be more consistent if I started to blog. Therefore the following journal is one from earlier on in November but I though it would be nice to include them all.

Drama Journal # 1 (for lack a better name, they'll get better, hopefully)

So far being in the IB theatre program has been a great experience. IN the past I have felt that the IB program wasn't for me because of the rigorous academics. With the introduction to IB Theatre it was an instant realization that this is where I fit not. Not that it is not academic, but in a different way. Even though it has only been about two and a half months, I feel that I am already learning so much. I have learned that some of the best acting does not only happen on stage but the few moments before are what really drive a performance. There are so many things that you have to be thinking about; where you're going, where you've been, what's your purpose and what do you want. Not only have these skills helped me in class but they have also helped me in my presentations as well as my writing skills. I have found that these theatre skills are also helpful in our everyday lives. Every single moment of your life you want something. It may be something small that will help you with your more "long-term wants."

I think that before this year I was naive thinking that a Theatre course was easy. I have realized that the people who are acting and backstage, if they do it right, can make a performance look seamless even if it was very difficult.

I know there is a lot to learn this year but I am actually looking forward to all the work because there are so many new, exciting things to learn.

One thing that I found very interesting to learn about was the three circles of attention. Though this lesson I realized that even when a character is reflecting within, there are different ways to portray that on stage. Not only does this apply to Theatre Arts but in our everyday lives we are always thinking in our first, second or third circles of attention.

One of the most influential things I have learned is that you have to assume that your audience is smarter than you think they are. A role can be dry and boring if you over act it. Even the smallest of gestures can allow you to discreetly show the audience what the character is feeling.

I would like to talk briefly about the object performance. I believe that this was a technical more aspect of theatre. Reflecting on my performance, I feel that I need to work on my entrances. I knew where I was coming from but the physical aspect of opening the door was difficult. I though that I did well on keeping focus and using my forth wall.

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It was very funny to read this over again. It's funny how people change.